HIGHER-ORDER PROBLEM: clearly defining all key terms
HOW: I didn’t spend enough time defining all key terms clearly just because I thought people might understand this. In fact, I always made ‘ I read this before’ equal to ‘ people all read this before’ without considering readers should have no background about the essay and reading martials.
SOLUTION: every time when I found a key term I should explain it as well. And using the reading materials is also a good way to define some terms I might not understand clearly.
IN THE FUTURE: I will find the key terms and figure them out before writing of essay and define them at first. And after that, I can use this key terms and their definition directly when I am going to write.
HIGHER-ORDER PROBLEM: organization
HOW: I always write essay in a five paragraphs mode. It is normal type but sometimes may let reader feel boring. I try to write essay in this way also constrain my idea as well. It makes my creation limited. And sometimes it will also cause the problem that people cannot find the main point.
SOLUTION: try to write essay in different types of organization. Before writing, try to think more ways and even better ways can be used to state a specific argument. And use the templates to help build structure.
IN THE FUTURE: maybe I will take risks to write essay in a different type and organization instead of always using traditional mode.
HIGHER-ORDER PROBLEM: intro/conclusion
HOW: sometimes forget to introduce to one point, which makes essay awkward and bad designed. Sometimes conclusion doesn’t include the whole idea of mine and just written as a conclusion for part of the paragraph.
SOLUTION: use the transition as efficient as possible, which can leads to another new point of view. And also remember to conclude the things I have talked before starting something new.
IN THE FUTURE: I need to make a good use of introduction, and let the essay goes fluently instead of abnormal transition to something have not been talked before. And having a better understanding of my own essay is also important, because after that I can know the time when I need to introduce or conclude.
LOWER-ORDER PROBLEM: word choice
EX 1 ORIGINAL: Place, abstract but meaningful, is usually relevant to space.
EX 1 REVISION: Place, abstract but meaningful, is usually compared to space.
HOW: I tried to use a word to express the meaning of “connect”.
SOLUTION: use the word like ‘compared ’ to make the sentence’s meaning more clear.
EX 2 ORIGINAL: two people who grow up at the same atmosphere may have
EX 2 REVISION: two people who grow up around the same environment may
HOW: tried to use some word to describe that two people grew up in the same place and had the similar experience.
SOLUTION: atmosphere has a meaning that is not suitable for this case, so just use environment.
EX 3 ORIGINAL: usually outgoing and outstanding in academy
EX 3 REVISION: usually outgoing in communication and outstanding in schoolwork.
HOW: I want to use one word to include two adj. but make the sentence awkward.
SOLUTION: break them to two parts and use two words to describe them.
IN THE FUTURE: I will try to break myself of the habit of assuming that the more obscure the word, the more impressive it is and the more impressive it is, the smarter I will look. Instead, I will aim for linguistic precision. And know the actual use of words cumulatively.
LOWER-ORDER PROBLEM: sentence structure
EX1 ORIGINAL: Seen as a collectively generated entity, place is frequently portrayed as a weaving together of various individual experiences
EX1 RIVISIONL: Seen as a collectively generated entity of each person, place is frequently portrayed as a weaving together of various individual experiences, so we will say place has its uniqueness.
HOW: miss some word to make sentence uncertain.
SOLUTION: give the verb a target to make the sentence away from fragment.
EX2 ORIGINAL: As mammals, humans have the elemental need for a place known to provide them with some familiar things that help them get comfortable.
EX2 RIVISION: As an animal with emotion, humans have the elemental need for a place known to provide them with some familiar things that help them get comfortable.
HOW: at first, I wanted to use some common characteristics of mammals to help build the idea of need for a familiar place, but it also brought some problem like make the sentence confusing.
SOLUTION: change the word and the structure of sentence to make the meaning clear.
EX 3 ORIGINAL: I feel that homeland might not be the place where you are born, but it should be seen as the place where you grow up with lots of memories. Human groups nearly everywhere tend to regard their own homeland as the center of the world. As for me, I am now an international student studying abroad in America. To be honest, I have been in Atlanta for almost one year, and my feelings towards this place have gone from unfamiliar at first to accustomed now. However, I still cannot compare it to my hometown for the reason that in my hometown there are my family and relatives, my schools before, my friends and so on. My homeland, where I lived for nearly 18 years, heard and saw too many stories of mine. And when I went back to my hometown, I felt comfortable and relaxed b
EX 3 RIVISION: just break them into several paragraphs
HOW: tried to say lots of words just in one sentence. In fact, some of them can absolutely be independent to others, so they need to be said in different paragraph.
SOLUTION: break them into some paragraph instead of combining them together. It can also help readers to get what I want to say clearly.
IN THE FUTURE: revising after finishing a paragraph and then be able to figure out some sentence structure problems. And change the words or change the way of saying.
HOW: I didn’t spend enough time defining all key terms clearly just because I thought people might understand this. In fact, I always made ‘ I read this before’ equal to ‘ people all read this before’ without considering readers should have no background about the essay and reading martials.
SOLUTION: every time when I found a key term I should explain it as well. And using the reading materials is also a good way to define some terms I might not understand clearly.
IN THE FUTURE: I will find the key terms and figure them out before writing of essay and define them at first. And after that, I can use this key terms and their definition directly when I am going to write.
HIGHER-ORDER PROBLEM: organization
HOW: I always write essay in a five paragraphs mode. It is normal type but sometimes may let reader feel boring. I try to write essay in this way also constrain my idea as well. It makes my creation limited. And sometimes it will also cause the problem that people cannot find the main point.
SOLUTION: try to write essay in different types of organization. Before writing, try to think more ways and even better ways can be used to state a specific argument. And use the templates to help build structure.
IN THE FUTURE: maybe I will take risks to write essay in a different type and organization instead of always using traditional mode.
HIGHER-ORDER PROBLEM: intro/conclusion
HOW: sometimes forget to introduce to one point, which makes essay awkward and bad designed. Sometimes conclusion doesn’t include the whole idea of mine and just written as a conclusion for part of the paragraph.
SOLUTION: use the transition as efficient as possible, which can leads to another new point of view. And also remember to conclude the things I have talked before starting something new.
IN THE FUTURE: I need to make a good use of introduction, and let the essay goes fluently instead of abnormal transition to something have not been talked before. And having a better understanding of my own essay is also important, because after that I can know the time when I need to introduce or conclude.
LOWER-ORDER PROBLEM: word choice
EX 1 ORIGINAL: Place, abstract but meaningful, is usually relevant to space.
EX 1 REVISION: Place, abstract but meaningful, is usually compared to space.
HOW: I tried to use a word to express the meaning of “connect”.
SOLUTION: use the word like ‘compared ’ to make the sentence’s meaning more clear.
EX 2 ORIGINAL: two people who grow up at the same atmosphere may have
EX 2 REVISION: two people who grow up around the same environment may
HOW: tried to use some word to describe that two people grew up in the same place and had the similar experience.
SOLUTION: atmosphere has a meaning that is not suitable for this case, so just use environment.
EX 3 ORIGINAL: usually outgoing and outstanding in academy
EX 3 REVISION: usually outgoing in communication and outstanding in schoolwork.
HOW: I want to use one word to include two adj. but make the sentence awkward.
SOLUTION: break them to two parts and use two words to describe them.
IN THE FUTURE: I will try to break myself of the habit of assuming that the more obscure the word, the more impressive it is and the more impressive it is, the smarter I will look. Instead, I will aim for linguistic precision. And know the actual use of words cumulatively.
LOWER-ORDER PROBLEM: sentence structure
EX1 ORIGINAL: Seen as a collectively generated entity, place is frequently portrayed as a weaving together of various individual experiences
EX1 RIVISIONL: Seen as a collectively generated entity of each person, place is frequently portrayed as a weaving together of various individual experiences, so we will say place has its uniqueness.
HOW: miss some word to make sentence uncertain.
SOLUTION: give the verb a target to make the sentence away from fragment.
EX2 ORIGINAL: As mammals, humans have the elemental need for a place known to provide them with some familiar things that help them get comfortable.
EX2 RIVISION: As an animal with emotion, humans have the elemental need for a place known to provide them with some familiar things that help them get comfortable.
HOW: at first, I wanted to use some common characteristics of mammals to help build the idea of need for a familiar place, but it also brought some problem like make the sentence confusing.
SOLUTION: change the word and the structure of sentence to make the meaning clear.
EX 3 ORIGINAL: I feel that homeland might not be the place where you are born, but it should be seen as the place where you grow up with lots of memories. Human groups nearly everywhere tend to regard their own homeland as the center of the world. As for me, I am now an international student studying abroad in America. To be honest, I have been in Atlanta for almost one year, and my feelings towards this place have gone from unfamiliar at first to accustomed now. However, I still cannot compare it to my hometown for the reason that in my hometown there are my family and relatives, my schools before, my friends and so on. My homeland, where I lived for nearly 18 years, heard and saw too many stories of mine. And when I went back to my hometown, I felt comfortable and relaxed b
EX 3 RIVISION: just break them into several paragraphs
HOW: tried to say lots of words just in one sentence. In fact, some of them can absolutely be independent to others, so they need to be said in different paragraph.
SOLUTION: break them into some paragraph instead of combining them together. It can also help readers to get what I want to say clearly.
IN THE FUTURE: revising after finishing a paragraph and then be able to figure out some sentence structure problems. And change the words or change the way of saying.